When I’m 24 I will…

…don a pixie hair cut
…wear whatever I want (screw the people who would criticize whatever fashion sense I have)
…really try to save moolah
…focus on myself
…prioritize my happiness
…forgive anyone who have wronged me
…try to improve myself by changing for the better
…be more closer to God than I am today
…learn how to be contented with whatever I have
…not mind what other people think
Lastly, have more FUN!

On Trying To Live A Healthier Lifestyle

I’m not really a health conscious type of person before. I eat what I want to eat and I really don’t exercise. But lately, I have this desire to live a healthier lifestyle. Thus, I try to do what is best for my body.

There are things that I’ve changed in my food intake. During breakfast, I usually eat cereals. In lunch, I see to it that I eat rice, meat and vegetables as well as fruits. And dinner time means no rice or too much carbohydrates. In fact, my dinner is usually just vegetable salads and/or fruits. Also, I’m trying to drink as much water as I can and trying to stay away from soda (diet cola or not). Apart from this, whenever possible, I try to drink “warm to a bit hot” water after every meal so that the fats I’ve eaten won’t solidify afterwards. I also plan on hitting the gym to have some cardio exerices and tone my body as well.

You may say that I’m so finicky (maarte). But the thing is, I’m just afraid of my health. I’m far away from the city I grew up in and I’m far from my family. Being fit is vital for me because it sucks to be sick and you’re all alone and no one’s going to take care of you. Plus, my family is known to suffer from highblood, diabetes and heart failure. So, better stay fit than face the horrible sickness in the future.

Well, I hope I could stick with this healthy lifestyle or improve on it. I hope I won’t stop what I’ve already started. Good luck to me! LOL!

who’s luckier?

Someone once told me this:

“I envy you for you can almost have all the material things you want.”

It took me a while to answer this as I actually don’t know how to respond. I was dumbfounded for I never really thought of myself as the lucky one. For little did that person know, I’d readily give up all my material possessions in exchange for the life that fate has stolen from me.

Just in time when I needed someone to whom I can share all my problems and insecurities while growing up, my mother went to the United States to work as an accountant in an accounting firm. I spent the remaining half of my teenage life without my mother beside me. I had to learn everything the hard way. I had to play the games alone and little by little learned the ropes on how to survive the concrete jungle. With a family dominated by boys, growing up was so difficult for I do not have a role model to look up to. I don’t have someone to copy a feminine trait from. I grew up all by myself and did everything that I think was right (then). The worse part was, since I’m the eldest girl, I have to stand up not just for myself but to guide my younger sister as well.

Though life was bullying me, I kept myself strong. I hid all my weaknesses away for I was afraid that when I let my guard down, everything that I’ve worked on will fall into pieces. I’ve always kept my head up and have always been so reserved with my ordeal. For the most part, I grew up this way. Part of the reason was, I hate it when my mother worries about me. I’ve always wanted to make her believe that I can manage all the trials that life tries to throw at me even though I feel like I’m already breaking down.

Yet, despite from the tough experiences I had, not once did I blame my mother. I was, for the most part, still thankful that though she’s physically not there, her love has closed the distance between us. And yes, if it weren’t for these experiences, I wouldn’t be the kind of person that I am today. I may not be perfect but I know, in my mother’s eyes, I’m better than how you see me as I am today.

If material things were the basis, yes, I’m almost lucky. But remember, living isn’t about the material things. Family will always be the vital part of living. So, don’t envy me. You’re luckier for you got the chance to spend all your glorious and inglorious moments of your life with your mother.

Random

It’s one of those days again where I miss the life I left in Cagayan de Oro. It’s not really a grand life but it’s a comfortable life. I have no bills to pay and no chores to do. I don’t have to ride buses and trains; no almost dilapidated taxis; lesser traffic.

But one thing I miss the most is my family. My family does not only consist of my relatives but also my friends. They’re just a text away when I want to unwind. I miss the feeling knowing that someone out there is worried about my welfare and treats headache like it’s a serious matter. I miss being awoken by the knocking of the bedroom door and telling me to eat already. I miss my dad accompanying me on my way to work. I miss my MP3 collection in our house computer. I miss the restaurants and coffee shops. God, I miss that life.

GAAAAH!  Anyway, this longingness shall pass. Looking forward to my next flight heading home. See you soon, CDO!

The Right Kind

It’s amazing how powerful love is; it has a capability of destroying a good friendship.

I see it happen a lot in relationships. I have been a victim to this kind of love too. It happened to me so many years ago. If I’m not mistaken, it happened last 2003 until 2004/2005. I’m not really sure about the year it ended. I just know when it started. As I look back at those years, I’m actually ashamed of myself for placing a barrier to my close friends just to see my “then” guy happy. See, I died that time. I lost my life and I lost my friends. I was only left with my school, my “then” guy, his friends and my family.

However, I’m not here to talk about that “then” guy. I don’t want to tarnish his reputation anymore. My friends can attest how my life had been and I think there’s no sense in bringing back those sad years. The reason why I’m writing this blog is because I just want to share something that I’ve learned, which I think is very obvious but I just failed to notice it back then. I’ve learned that love or perhaps your guy should not hinder you from having the life that you want. You should be free to decide and live the life you choose to have. Because if a person truly loves you, that person will surely understand you and respect you. He/she should understand that he/she is not the only life you have. The person should fully understand that you have friends; that you have a life outside the relationship you both have. And that person should also respect any failed relationships you have had in the past. If he/she cannot respect you as a person and understand that you have a life also, then how else can he/she love and accept you as a person and not as the robot he/she created?

Love should always inspire you. It should always encourage you to do better and most importantly, love should not destroy any other relationship you have with your friends and family. Love should understand, support and respect. I’ve learned this the hard way and I’m ever thankful to the guy who made me realize what love really means, made me fully understand what stupidity is and led me to the right kind of love I have today.

Keep the love burning, mi amigos and amigas!