Filling In
I’ve been meaning to update this blog and fill you in with the details. But, the time’s just too short for me to waste it. I’ve been very busy juggling and balancing every aspect of my life, lately. That is why blogging have never crossed my mind for quite a while already. Anyhoo, here I am again to fill you in and share to you a chunk of my life. Weepee!
Have I told you the results of my second round? I guess not. Well, anyway, I went to the doctor on the scheduled date and had my, so to speak, second round. I’m still not done with the medications. Still need to drink 120 tablets more and 60 tablets of another med. Whapack! BUT, the good thing is, I am getting better every day. Congratulations to me! 
I made quite a number of friends too! I’ve added a lot more and updated my friends’ list (hehehe!:D). The people I disliked before or put a gap with, are actually my friends now. The saying really holds true “If you start treating people as people, they become people” and I am also glad to have them as my friends. I never thought they would be so sweet and kind. Lesson learned: don’t judge the book by its cover (such a cliche!)
I am loving my life these days. Everything seems to be falling into its rightful places. I know someday or sometime from now, it’s going to shake but why worry for tomorrow when the reality exists today, right? Life is just too short to waste in worrying about the future when I can have the present to savor. 
Anyhoo (again), need to go. I’ll fill you in soon enough when I’m a bit free already and time’s not running out on my end. have a blast this month! -xoxo!
Hello and Goodbye
It is a common thing in life to meet someone and then say goodbye in the future. Don’t react. Life is always that way. You meet someone but then you need to let go of the other one. It is a matter of letting in and letting go for you can’t have everything in this world. Life needs to have a balance; sometimes you win, sometimes you lose; sometimes you cry, sometimes you laugh. And yes, it’s a cliche, I know.
However, hello and goodbye do not only pertain to the people you meet along the long and winding road, a lot of things can be applied also. It can be your work, your home, anything as long as you let go. That is the painful part of saying hello to a new world because eventually, there comes a point in time where you’re going to say goodbye.
I am currently experiencing this. I do not want to write it in details but I have said hello to something I have been dreaming. I was once happy for I got what I want in life. Yet, recently, I have just received a notification that my dreams have drifted away. I have come to say goodbye to it. So, thank you for that two months of experience. I did learn something from you. THANK YOU.
My emotions are mixed today. I am happy for my burden will be lighter but letting go of the thing I want most is a bit sad too. However, as I have said, life is really like this. It is a cycle…a way of life.
Tomorrow’s a Big Day!
The long wait is over. Tomorrow’s a big day – the judgement day as I shall call it.
I will be absent tomorrow for I need to go to the doctor. Finally, the day has arrived where I can say that I am again healthy or I am still having the illness. I still do not know it yet. All I know is that I feel better everyday; happier, in fact. Well, for tomorrow, this is how I’m going to have my day.
I will wake up early so I can be in the hospital early, too.
Meet the doctor and seek for advice.
Have my second round of Xray
Let the doctor evaluate it
If it’s not good, skin test will follow.
If it’s good, I’ll stop the medication
Whatever the outcome, I think I deserve to be happy and I will be, I know I will be. There’s nothing to be sad about, I think?
Second Round
It’s April already and the days are nearly hitting 23.
I’ll have my second shot of skin test again this April 23 to determine if I still have the bacteria residing in my left lung. I am quite excited that finally, after months of waiting I will know the result. Yet, I am worried at the same time because I might not have the result I want to have.
I have researched about my illness and I am really afraid if this gets to worse. I have studied it and have found out that if it gets to worse, I would be hospitalized and medicines will not be taken orally anymore but would be taken via injection. Imagining it makes me shiver already. I am afraid of needles! Yikes!
Anyway, aside from my second skin test, I will also have my second round of chest xray. Actually the xray comes first and if the spot is still there, skin test will come next.
I am a bit afraid but still hoping that it would turn out all right.
My Superb Cast of Friends
Every person has its own superb cast in his/her life. I have mine too. One of my superb casts is my friends. I am lucky to have them. They are there when I am down and needs some cheering up. They are there when I taste what triumph tastes like. In short, they were and still are here giving my life full of vibrant colors. I love them and they will always be special to me. Always. Here are my life’s superb cast of friends.
Top: Jojo Bottom: Joan, Zac and Mac
Many have thought that I have lots of boys in my life. Little did they know, they’re just my extended brothers. These guys are the one I hangout with, which I know won’t leave me. They take care of me and accompany me home if it’s late at night. I know that I’m in good hands if I hangout with them even though it’s dawn already.
Left To Right: Charisse (Angel), Joan, Abie and Ginno
They are my high school best buddies. We particularly got close in our senior year. We shared laughter, tears and pain. Right now, we’re apart and don’t see each other that much anymore. Yet, I still keep them in my heart.
This me with Mickay
Mickay and I are close and have been helping each other in terms of jobs (haha!). She was the one who helped me have my part-time job way back in college and the reason why I met the guy I am dating for a year and a half now.
Together with Chriselyn (Yen)
Chriselyn is one of my closest friends. You can always see me with her. She’s my partner in almost everything nowadays. We go to the parlor together, we dine out together, we gossip, we share problems, we laugh and lots more. We’re like sisters with different mothers.
My HS Barkada – the mads
See? We celebrate our special days together. We always make it to a point that we’re there for the celebrator. We usually “chip-in” money to buy the celebrator a cake for his/her birthday.
My HS Group Of Friends
This is US. Every school break, we always spare some time to be together again and fill in the details of our school term, our lives and what has happened to us. My high school classmates will always be important to me.
My Mimai
Mimai is my teacher before in High School. Yet, I do not treat her just as my teacher, she is my best friend as well just like the ones I’ve posted above this picture. She’s like my second mother who scolds and calls my attention when I am not doing the right thing. And she’s one of the people who accepts me for who I am
MY COLLEGE LIFE’S SUPERB CAST
Loren
Loren is the first girl who be-friend me when I shifted from the other course. I was outside the room and she approached me “Oi Joan! Classmate ta! May gani naa koy kaila! (Hey Joan! We’re classmates! Good to know I have a classmate that I know). Yet, I didn’t know her. I kept scanning my thoughts. Unfortunately, I can’t find her. So, I just smiled at her. hahaha! But, here we are! We ended up as close friends.
Jeffrey/Timang/Timmy
Timang is the drinker. When we’re out and he can’t join us, we know he’s out there drinking with his other friends. He always cracks jokes and there’s never a dull moment with him.
Percy
Percy is like our eldest brother in the group. Blame it on his age. Nah! Joke! He protects us and watches out for us. When boys tend to court us, it is his rule to let him be acquainted with the guy first prior to giving the YES word.
Donna/Donya
Donna is the baby of the group. Not because of her age because I am the youngest of them all. She’s the baby because she’s the sweetest among all of us. A trivia: Donna can’t talk straight when she’s nervous or shy. Hahaha! (ayyeyeye..gel) hahahaha! P.S. Sorry for the picture, Don.
Renato/Rj/Torki
Torki is like a brother to me. He takes care of me or shall we say us (Loren, Donna and I). He never left us and helped us when we’re in trouble. This guy is the closest guy to my heart in my college’s superb cast.
The Boarders
These people you find here are the closest friends I have in college. We still see each other but not that much already since almost all of us have jobs already to consider. We call our group as the boarders because we’re like Donna’s house boarders. In our college life and up until now, we always hang out in her house and eat! hahaha! It came to a point that we already kiss the hand of her mother and have been close to her family already.
These are my IM friends who made my college days fun and worth cherishing. By the way, this was taken during our Christmas Exchanging of Gifts.
Actually, there are still more but I can’t find their pictures anymore. 
They have been one of the reasons why when I look back on my past, a smile is formed on my lips. I am happy that they have been a part of me. Some of my friends, I still get to see. Some, we just communicate through Instant Messaging and Text Messaging. Yet, nothing has changed. They still and will be a special part of me as a person.
To all of my friends:
Thank you for accepting me for who I am and who I am not. Thank you for the wonderful times. Thank you very much!
Where am I? How am I?
spending my days inside the room
Where am I? How am I?
Actually, I am still a bit groggy right now. Blame it on the medicines I take. Every time I take those medicines, it has never failed to make me feel groggy. I’ve been drugged! I feel like my brain if floating in my head. Sometimes it gives me pain, sometimes it makes me wonder if my brain is still there. I call my medicines as the wonder drugs (hahaha!) You want to know why? Because I always wonder when will this stop and if I still have my brain. And oh! I also wonder if I can still work with this kind of condition. I mean if I can still concentrate on my job.
I spend most of my days inside the four walls of our house. What I do? I usually wake up around 9 in the moring. I, then, eat my breakfast without even washing my face! After eating my breakfast, I will then drink the prescribed medicines. And then I would feel groggy for a while, drugged out! I will then face the computer, read a book, watch a movie or sometimes go back to sleep. Lunch will then arrive. Another meal to eat and another medicine to drink. Oh, I forgot to mention drinking milk has been one of my daily undertakings, which, I do not hate by the way. And yes, joan marie is drugged out again! hahaha! Good thing, when dinner time, medicines are not taken. I can eat it without having to drink yet another set of medicine. Me like it!
For almost two months of having this kind of life, I have become what we usually termed as “home buddy”. Yes, and I like it. I like staying at home already and be the couch potato once more.
we fight but we love
we're enemies but more like lovers
We have been sharing this relationship for almost two years now. Almost two years of fighting, crying, laughing, dreaming, celebrating, hurting and most of all loving.
I must admit, our relationship is not really perfect, not even close. Fights are there to give spice in a seemingly loving relationship. We fight to the point of nearly breaking up. And when we fight, we really fight. Since I am not the kind of person who would just shut up and accept defeat even though the person knows he/she is right, a fight is really a fight. Try to imagine two people fighting over a matter and at the same time getting both ideas acrossed to one another, that’s how we fight. Yet, I love it this way. I love fights because in fights, I know both of us are working with our own differences. We care for each other in a way that we are not afraid to point out our mistakes.
We fight, we sometimes came to a point of breaking up just because we won’t consider each other’s point, but we always love. In short, we fight because we love each other. Although there were times that the outcome of our fight is a bit unfair because I always win, still, it’s good to know we’re not giving up the fight to last a lifetime and to defy the odds in the relationship.
Why, then, have we come this far even if fights are common between us?
Well, maybe it’s because both of us love each other too much that letting go is an idea we can’t entertain. We both have the same goal in life. We planned our future and settled for that already. We both have the mutual understanding that fights really do come off.
So here’s an advice for all of the lovers out there:
Do not let a single fight ruin what you have. Do not easily give up just because he/she did not do what you asked. Learn to compromise and understand that neither of you is perfect. You always have a room for mistakes, don’t forget that. Love each other as a person and not because he/she is beautiful or rich. And when I say as a person, love even the flaws that he/she has.
friendster blog
I have been meaning to have my own friendster blog just for the fun of it. I actually had it yesterday. BUT due to my clumsiness, I keyed in the incorrect URL (address) of the blog. So, I have to delete it since when I can’t find the option where I can switch my address. I thought I could just delete it and then make a new one. But what the heck, when I deleted it, I can’t seem to make a new one anymore. so sad. It says it’s permanently deleted and can’t be retrieved. Well, I’m not really retrieving the blog, I want a new one. Darn, I hope they can fix it and allow people like me, to generate a new one after the other has been deleted. hmmp!
I’m Up Again, Finally!
Hello fellow bloggers/readers! it’s been a while since i’ve written. i haven’t realized it took me this long to update my blog again. probably because those days i hid from the world because i was a bit down. but, no worries, i’m up again. i guess laying still won’t help me that’s why i’m getting up already! whoa! congratulations to me! =)
one of the reasons why i laid still was because of my health condition. i guess i haven’t handled it well and yeah, sulk down. but, hey! it’s still not too late. i, by the way, have pulmonary tuberculosis and the spot has gone to more than 3cm in diameter. yes, you’ve read it right. it’s big enough that’s why the doctor advised me to rest and have full blast medication. i’m in treatment, still but slowly recovering. i don’t spit blood no more which is a good sign and have been drinking lots of milk also! i’m a very good patient, yah know! =)
anyway, i’m going to have my second round of skin testing this coming April to see if I still have the PTB and to see if the spot becomes smaller by that time. I do hope it would. I hate this condition but yeah, I can’t do anything anymore except to follow what the doctor says.
currently, i’m doing fine. i feel healthy each day though lately i’ve been having occasional dry cough but still managing to eliminate the bacteria inside my lungs. someone told me i’m gaining more meat thus more weight! kudos! coz you see, i’m very thin! it’s a good sign that i’m gaining already at least there’s a light and a big possibility that i’ll be well and ptb-free this april. help me pray, though.
thanks for the prayers!
this is my latest pic...see?i'm up again and happy!
troubled
sometimes you have to think back
sometimes life can be a bit rough. it may throw a stone at you in times where you’re unready. it may also shake the foundation you’ve set for yourself. and right at this moment, that’s what’s happening to me. Read the rest of this entry »
